Burnt Umber
by rachelreckless
Summary: A Mello and Matt fanfic - Mello and Matt disover their homosexuality - Includes yaoi - Mello and Matt go on many urrhm 'adventures' and lots of shizzle they will struggle to get their asses out of, but they wouldn't be able to do it without each other.
1. I guess i should start at the begining

Well I guess I should start right at the beginning. Otherwise you stupid-ass fuckers won't get any of this at all. I started out in Russia, I was a secret kept from everyone and so was my mother and my sisters. My father was in the Russian Mafia. I never really understood why he kept us all quiet, until the day he was shot. I was three years of age. Rather bright for my age though I will still never come to understand what could drive a man to kill and hurt for no reason whatsoever.

I was playing with my new birthday presents from the day before in the back yard. I heard shouting behind me and a door slam. I turned around to see my father running towards me, arms outstretched with a desperate look on his face. I remember being confused and running towards him to comfort him. The look possessing him was something so pained it caused me pain.

Then I heard the shots. A man crashed through the fence shouting 'Traitor! Traitor!' and firing at my father. I looked back at his panic stricken face to find it calm and tranquil. Glazed over. In a different world to ours. Dead. I've never forgotten his face. That glazed over look that haunts my sleep every night. My mother and sisters fled to England to escape the ever coming punishment for our existence.

The first memory I have of my sisters is of the day if fell over and grazed my knee on the way back from the small shop nestled in on the corner of our street in England. My sister Krása picked me up and kissed me on the forehead. She carried me home and laid me on the sofa. Her name meant beauty in Czech. It suited her well. From the age of 5 she never failed to amaze me with her pure beauty. My other sister Jemný, cleaned my wound and gave me soup. Her name meant gentle, in a language I do not know. She never failed to live up to her name. She was the kindest person you will ever come across.

My mother, Eva, was an extremely religious woman. She never failed to attend church services and hammered the Ten Commandments into my brain until I could recite them. She always taught me to love and not hate. Talking of being taught, that's all I was taught until the age of six. When most boys would be reading and writing, even if it was at low level I was only talking and walking and counting up to ten. My mother found enough money to put my sisters through school, she home schooled me. By the age of eight I was reading novels and writing my own.

Then the bomb hit. My mother was found in the city by one of the Russian mafia who used to work with my father and was shot. My sisters were rushed of in a cab the next day by the nuns at the church and I stayed with them for a few days. News came two days after they left that their car had been attacked by, most likely, more of the Russian mafia on a visit. The nuns arranged with the English police to have me taken out of town secretly. They sent three agents; I do not remember their names. I was whisked off in a helicopter – so much for sneaking - but before they could get me to my destination they noticed my extraordinary vocabulary and took me off to an orphanage for 'bright' children.

It was there that they stripped away the last connection I had with my family. Miheal Keehl turned into Mello. My alias. Here I learned I was training to be a successor of the greatest detective in the world a.k.a. L. I was thrown into a room on the second floor with my new roommate, Matt. Or at least his alias was Matt. This was where the story started. We became civil after about four months of fighting over nothing. I particularly used to enjoy pulling on his geeky goggles and letting them spring back in his face until he cried. To this day I don't think I've ever seen his eyes properly. After a few more months we became friends. My very first real friend. Then miraculously he became my best friend. I had gotten mad at another boy called Near. He always did so well! I am extremely competitive. Matt had recognised my love of chocolate after the very first bite I ever had at Wammy's Orphanage.

He went out in the middle of a thunderstorm and used pocket money he had been saving for god knows how long and bought a super-sized chocolate bar all for me. That's when I realised how much he meant to me. It wasn't that he had spent money on me that made me happy, it was knowing that he cared enough to throw away something he had worked hard for so I could feel better. When my thirteenth birthday hit was when I realised how much I really liked Matt. It started off with little twinges every time he threw his lopsided grin at me and moved on to a strange feeling whenever he got close or touched me. We were 14 when it happened…

* * *

I stumbled awkwardly through the corridors towards the dorm, where I knew Mello would be waiting for me. Mello is my roommate and my best friend. I shifted the small cardboard box stuffed with chocolate bars for Mello, sandwiches for me and cola for us both. I kicked open the door.

"Hey Matt" a voice called from the bathroom. Mello sprinted out with a towel wrapped round his hair like a turban.

"What the hell man?" I exclaimed staring at the towel,

"Oh calm down, it's only so I don't get water everywhere. My hair is wet from the shower still" He unwrapped the towel and he began to appear more like the 14 year old boy he was than the 11 year old girl he looked. Mello prized himself on his fashion and his stunningly good looks, though he quite often had huge fits of rage because of newcomers mistaking him for a girl. 'Do I look like I have fucking tits to you?' was his usual line of defence.

I laughed and dumped the box on his bed. He tore into it like he hadn't been fed for weeks and ripped open a chocolate bar and broke off a square. Putting it in his mouth, he relaxed. Chocolate is his favourite thing in the world. Except his excessive attempts to beat Near, the boy he competes with to become L's successor. When he succeeded nothing could bring him down from his high, when he lost I would force feed him chocolate to calm him down.

"You enjoying that?" I asked, smiling mockingly in his direction as he fell backwards and laid on the bed with a contented sigh. Still stuffing himself with squares of chocolate.

"Don't get me started" we laughed and he threw a sandwich at me. I sat down on the other side of the box of treats on the bed and started my jam sandwich. For me, this was about as close as I ever got to deserts. Sugar really isn't my thing. I looked at my friend with a surge of happiness at his delight with my findings. I loved pleasing Mello, he never said thank you but showed he was grateful by actually respecting your sorry ass. He caught me mid-stare and he smiled as I glanced away.

We broke in to pointless small talk about homework and how annoying Near was being lately.

"He's a fucking wanker, ill pound his sorry ass so hard he'll wake up in Australia, I swear it!"

"Woah! Mello calm down eat some chocolate. You'll be L's successor and we all know it. Near is just so far up L's ass he will have to be surgically removed" Mello laughed at that and carried on with his small talk. I laid on my side facing him while he laid on his back facing the ceiling and talking to it like it was me.

I fell into a trance and the rest of his words moulded into each other and washed over me like a wave as I stared at his golden hair, splaying across the bedclothes. His thick, dark eyelashes as he blinked and his ice blue beautiful stare as he glanced at me to make sure I was paying attention. I smiled at him in reassurance and he turned back to face the ceiling. I admired his sumptuous milky white skin. I suddenly realised what I was thinking and physically had to shake myself out of my trance. I swear last time I checked I wasn't gay. Calm Matt, you are not homosexual. Don't be an idiot.

Suddenly Mello's voice seemed very loud compared to the quiet in my dream and the light was to bright and the smell of strawberry shampoo overwhelmed my nose. Then I realised how close I was to his hair and shoved myself back towards the other side of the bed. He didn't notice a thing and just carried on blabbering about his new plans to impress L.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to Matt calling my name and gently shaking me, his hand on my shoulder was small and warm. I put my hand on top of it for a minute and enjoyed his touch as I woke up. Then I suddenly snapped awake and brushed his hand off my shoulder like I had been meaning to all along.

"MELLO!" came his voice about ten times louder in my ear and he shoved me straight off the bed.

"Gee, thanks Matt" I said, picking myself up off the floor. He chuckled and grinned, it was that grin that reached his eyes and made them sparkle dreamily. I forced myself to snap out of it and headed for the shower, he was already showered and had a single towel wrapped loosely round his hips. This was how it always worked, Matt woke up got showered, woke me up and dressed while I was out the way in the bathroom, then while I got dressed he went in to shave and whatever else he did in there. I glanced round just as he pulled off the towel and stood shocked at his perfectly sculpted bum for a second. Then turned and ran full pelt into the bathroom.

I spent the rest of the day in my own dream land re-living what happened this morning and tried to work out what was getting into me. I couldn't be homosexual could I? No way, I had been brought up on pussy. Was Matt really a girl? No he has no breasts. I can't comprehend what's happening to me. Maybe it's just a phase. Yeah, just a phase, phases don't last long. Soon I can get back to being a cocky man whore. Heterosexual man whore.

* * *

Back at our room I persuaded Mello to play on my latest game with me and thrashed him. He was an awful loser, but he wouldn't throw a strop about it with me. I saw the mournful look on his face and threw my arms around him to comfort him. He buried his head in the hair resting on my shoulder and breathed in my scent. I tensed a little in confusion but when he started to pull away I pulled him back for one last squeeze. I pressed my mouth into the join between his shoulder and neck. I didn't pucker my lips into a kiss because I knew I would get a punch for that.

As pulled away I held his shoulders at arm's length and smiled. He was beaming and that made me beam. As I took my hands off him in case he thought I was getting too touchy his face fell just a little. Was it possible for_ thee _Mello to feel the same way back? Man whore of Wammy's whole school? Heterosexual man whore of the whole school? Like me back? Wait. Since when did I like him? I just accepted it as naturally as hearing the word, it. Because it felt natural with Mello.

"W-w-would you" Mello cut off mid-sentence.

"Would I what Mello?" I enquired, puzzled at the war going on inside his head. It was clear he was fighting with himself about whether to carry on or not.

"W-would you let me t-t-try something, Matt?"

"Of course, as long as it's not like last time with that wrestling move" I joked, he smiled a little bit and shook his head. I saw him close his eyes and then take deep breaths to calm himself. He got onto his hands and knees on the floor where we were sitting leaning against the bed.

"Here goes" He smiled nervously and I saw his breathing speeding up again. Worry and panic showed on his face as he leant towards me, still on his hands and knees. I stayed perfectly still as his face stopped just an inch away from mine. Then suddenly he grabbed two handfuls of my fiery red hair and pulled my mouth into his. He pressed his lips against mine and after a split second I recovered from my shock. And I was kissing him back. It was a soft gentle kiss.

Neither of us wanted to pull apart and the kiss went from cool and calm slowly to passionate and loving then as my instincts kicked in, we fell perfectly into place. We fit together perfectly. I ran my hands down his arms, his hands were still firmly locked into my hair, and down his back to his firm ass. I tightened my grip and we straightened from our hands and knees to kneeling. He began to take over and he slid me along the floor while I was on my knees so I was pressed against his body. His touch burned, it was a fiery hot glaze over my skin. Suddenly we slowed and pulled away to breathe again.

"Wow" he looked absolutely dazzled. I cupped his face in my hand and automatically we stood up. At this moment we were perfectly in sync with each other. I felt a rush of desire and felt it radiate from Mello as well. In seconds our lips were pressed together and he had me laid on the bed. He held himself over me though our bodies still touched and were firmly pressed together. My sight was taken for a second as Mello tore of my shirt.

He planted kisses all over my trembling chest, like stubbing out a cigarette that just wouldn't go out. But it felt good. I pulled him back up to hang above me and slipped off his jacket and shirt. His milky white skin was like staring into the eyes of a god. Before I knew it I was biting him just above his right nipple, leaving a love bite. A low moan escaped from his throat as I pushed his hardened nipple in my mouth and sucked. He groaned and threw his head back and I threw him off me to lie next to me and I sprung up on top of him. I planted love bites all over his body and he pulled me up and bit me with his full might on my neck. It left fang-like cuts and a massive purple bruise but I didn't care.

I had Mello. That's all I cared about. His might came back to him then and I moaned as he stroked his hands down my body. "You do realise if we go further our friendship is effectively ruined?" His voice came, quiet and breathy.

"I'd rather have you like this" I managed to get out. I was breathing so fast. A devilish grin took over his face, he literally tore off my trousers.

* * *

My Matt. It made me smile, my Matt. I repeated it a few more times in my head and ran my fingers through his bright red hair and shuffled a little bit. His nude sleeping body pressed firmly against mine. I wrapped my arms around him and breathed in his musty scent. Why was I stupid enough to wait so long for this to happen? I don't know, but I knew this was something that I was never going to let slip away.


	2. Why Matt Loves Mello

'Mello asked me today why I love him; I told him there was no way to explain. He told me to try, I said

'How to explain... your cute, kind, funny, loveable, unimaginably amazing, you give up your things to me when i fall in love with them, you always try your best to understand, when i talk to you i smile uncontrollably, you dazzle me when you look into my eyes, you give me butterflies when you touch me, my heart skips a beat when you kiss me and it's hard to catch my breath when you tell me you love me'

He said 'I love you to bitch but there is _no _excuse to call me cute' and he walked off. I knew he would be all over me for it later...'

* * *

'GOD DAMMIT! WHY DOES MATT HAVE TO BE SOOOO GOD DAMNED CUTE?

Humph… maybe I shouldn't have walked off, he's probably upset right now.

WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SOOO GOD DAMNED MEAN?

Urrgh! I should probably go and see how he is…' Mello turned back on himself and walked back towards the dorms. 'I'll make it up to him! I will!' he repeated as he picked up the pace, determination taking hold of his actions, he stumbled into a run. He flew at speed through crowds of people – sending them flying as he charged past. He swung round the corner and barged straight into an extremely slender, small man with black hair and a crumpled white top. Mello looked up slowly and took in the liner rimmed eyes of his idol, L.

'Urr, um, urr L! I'm s-so sorry! I had no idea you were there! Please forgive me!' Mello stuttered.

'You didn't need to plead, relax, you are not in trouble' L replied in a smooth monotone that he always uses. Mello took a deep breath and calmed down.

'I don't wanna seem rude or nothin' L… but what are you doing here anyways?'

'I have come to study those studying to be me. I am in a very dangerous situation with the Kira case Mello, as you know. I need to choose a successor sooner or later… and this may be the time to do it.'

'Ah… I get it. So you're gonna be choosing between me, Matt and Near.' Mello spat out Near's name with disgust.

'That is correct.'

'I am sorry L, but I have somewhere I need to be. If you'll excuse me…'

'Of course Mello, go ahead' L moved to the side as Mello stepped past him, a hand landed heavily on his shoulder. For such a weak-looking man L hand an iron grip.

'Mello I am warning you now. The whole school is in this competition not just you and your companions. Watch your back, the other few top in school will be looking for anyway to improve their chances.'

'Thanks L, but I know how to look after myself here.'

'I'm sure you do. Run along now.' He removed his iron grip from Mello's shoulder and walked away. Mello took deep breaths then looked around him. He caught sight of the dorm building and remembered his mission. He took off, full speed ahead to Matt. 'To see his face, to touch his cheek, to kiss his lips… it's as if heaven has descended on Earth.'


	3. Dear Mello

Dear Mello,

In the past few days you've probably noticed the fact that I'm not in school, my sim card isn't active so you can't call me and I didn't tell you where I was going. Well I'm still not giving you my new number or telling you where to find me.

I've gone away because I never wanted to be L's successor in the first place, and now the time has come for him to choose it has hit me how much of a misfit I was. Though I always scored third in everything there were still chances I would be chosen, I know I wouldn't because your fabulous ass is there. But the point is, I didn't want to take the risk.

I don't want you to think I have stopped loving you. I know you only realised you loved me five weeks ago but I've loved your for months. I hope the fact that you only loved me for such a short time helps you deal with this better. I will never stop loving you Mello, ever ever ever.

I hope you know that it's killing me to leave you behind but your dream was always to become L's successor and I know you wouldn't have been able to choose between me and your career easily. So I made your choice for you. I don't know if it's the right choice and I don't know if I made the wrong one.

I promise that one day I will come and find you again. Maybe in a few years when it's been announced that L has named his successor I will hunt you down.

You've probably gathered that the fact there is an American stamp on the envelope that I am in America… you're right. But my whereabouts is almost impossible to trace. I'm working with people who cut their trace dead and clear away all the evidence.

I've enclosed some American chocolate because I still remember the day that we sat and spoke about all the places we want to travel to and you told me how you would like to try chocolate from every country in the world. Well here's your start. I'm doing a lot of travelling so you will probably get another letter with more chocolate soon.

Good luck on beating Near. I know you can do it! You've always been better than him and we both know it! BEAT THE SHITE OUTTA THE MOTHERFUCKER! Maybe if you smash his head in enough he won't be able to even run for L's successor anymore. It's laughable.

I'm gonna finish up now Mello. End of letter ahead… I'll be rooting for you! And promise me you'll never forget my next words.

You can do anything. You can be anything. You can touch the stars. (Can you tell I'm getting American Dream syndrome?) And most of all I want you to remember. That I love you now, I will love you in a week, I will love you in a year, I will love you all my life and I will still love you on my deathbed.

Lots of unconditional, forever lasting, full on love,

from Matt xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. I love you.

P.P.S. I really wish you were here right now.

P.P.P.S. I cry myself to sleep knowing I'm not going to see your face when I wake up.

P.P.P.P.S. I miss you like fuck.

* * *

'Story of my life:

I lose my dad.

I lose my home.

I lose my mum.

I lose my sisters.

I lose my name – my last connection to my family.

I lose to Near.

I lose the love of my life because he didn't want to beat Near.

FUCKING FANTASIC.

Why is it me who has to lose everything that means the most to me? No. To hell with that, why is it my fault most of the time? I didn't even lose my career to Near I gave it up to go on some stupid hunt for the love of my life. I know the chances of ever finding him are stupidly low but I can't live knowing I haven't tried.

So today I'm packing up my shit and imma moving outta Wammy's and imma be off to the United States of America! I really need to work on my accent… Now this is the first time I've ever been on a plane that isn't a helicopter or a private jet. (L has big bucks). So I don't really know how this works.'

Mello glanced round him at the others waiting in line to get their tickets and sighed. He waited for a few more minutes, getting more and more impatient, when he got to the front of the queue.

'Hey, I need one flight to anywhere in Vegas or New York, whichever flies out first.'

'Urrhm, we have no flights going out until 10pm or you can get a flight out to Miami then connect to Houston then on to New York. It's a new thing; it's an air tour. You stay in Miami for a week then Houston for three days then travel on to New York and the return flight is in another week.' Said the woman behind the desk in an unenthusiastic tone.

'I won't need a return flight.'

'I can always just take it off the bill.'

'Okay, I'll do the air tour.' I said after thinking for a few seconds.

'Can I see your passport?' I rooted around in my backpack and handed it over. I peered at the tanned woman's name tag as she tapped my details into a computer. It read, Sandra Peterson. What kind of name is Peterson?

'That'll be £11,999 sir.'

'Would it be cheaper just to book the flights separately?' She tapped away for a few more minutes.

'Yes it would be cheaper but when travel insurance, hotel costs and all other expenses are added it is more but with the air tour you get all other expenses paid for.'

'Air tour it is.' I said handing over my credit card. The best thing about not becoming L's successor is the fact that they don't believe you'll ever have another career so you get (what I call) 'redundancy' money. It's my first ten years of pay if I had become L's successor.

Remind me why I told them I was pulling out and to let Near be the successor? Oh yeah, Matt, the bloody bastard. But anyway I'm tucked up with a couple of million to blow on this search.

* * *

'I wonder what Mello is doing right now… I hope he's eating chocolate, he won't be as upset then. I hope he actually got the letter. Maybe I shouldn't have sent him the letter, what if I've made everything worse? Oh hell.' I took a long drag and glanced around the tatty apartment.

'I've been being trained to fight criminals for years, now I am one. I turned my skills against everything I believed in and lost the most important person in my life. I can't believe myself. The Mafia? The Mafia killed Mello's parents! How can I do this to him? I've stolen and betrayed, beaten and killed. The look in that man's eyes… I was being paid to do Domino's dirty work. I had to do it… if I didn't someone else would've and they would've killed me too. I'm in too deep. If I betray Domino's trust I'm screwed. He took me under his wing, he's given me somewhere to sleep and put food on my plate. All he asks is that I do what he needs me too.' Taking another drag I pushed myself up off the grimy couch and stumbled over to peer into the cloudy mirror.

My goggles, tightly secured around my head, tinged orange, hide my eyes from those who want to get to know me. I have no identity now. My alias is Seventeen. Number Seventeen. The proof to Domino of my identity? The cult tattoo on my right thigh, a beautiful, intricately carved dagger, the blade wrapped in linen. I am a new person, someone no one knows, who can go by in the street unnoticed. I am Domino's best asset. His most useful tool. Something he controls. Welcome to my new life.

The life where I straighten my wild hair, my eyes have never been seen without the tint of my goggles. The brown they appear through my mask is not real. I am not real. My striped tops, swapped for simple, block-coloured vests. My joggers and skinny jeans swapped for bagging denim masses. The world where I train every day and when I move my muscles ripple under dusty, tanned skin. The new me.

If Mello could see me now he would be devastated. Shocked beyond belief. But I have to live. With no other skill than with a blade and a supernatural reaction time and not old enough for minimum wage I was going nowhere.

An urgent knock on the door made me jump. I slouched over to it and checked the peep-hole. Domino. I flicked open the three locks on my door and swung it open. He swaggered in.

'Leave the door open Seventeen.'

'Sir.' I fell onto the couch and put out my fag as Domino pulled out his phone and called Dice. The twins, his personal body guards. Not clever but absolutely ripped. He sat down next to me.

'Light me up.' he demanded, gesturing to the fag pack on the coffee table. I pulled one out and handed it to him, grabbed my lighter and flicked it on. I threw it back down on the table as I saw smoke rising and hung my head in my hands. 'You know getting smashed is fun Seventeen. But your gonna have to stop cause I can't have you hung over all the time.'

'It wasn't the drink it was the crack that did it this time.'

'I don't care, your sixteen years old for Christ's sake you shouldn't be on crack.'

'What's your reason for coming to me Domino?'

'I need you to take care of someone for me. He owes me money, now I want my money so a dead man wouldn't help whatsoever, but a broken arm and black eyes will hopefully nudge him in the right direction. Get my gist?'


End file.
